Letterman hater going to jail

Robert Joel Halderman, the 48 Hours Mystery producer accused of trying to shake down David Letterman over the late night host's affairs with his staff, pleaded guilty on Tuesday, earning himself a trip to jail. There just might be some top ten lists about this one. Halderman entered his guilty plea to attempted grand larceny Tuesday in a Manhattan court, the AP reports. He was charged last fall with demanding $2 million to keep quiet about Letterman's love life, but insisted in the fall he was only trying to sell Letterman a screenplay based on the events. Letterman said forget all that, coming clean on the air in an illustrious example of how to defuse a scandal. "I feel great remorse for what I've done," Halderman said in court, according to the Los Angeles Times. Halderman was the live-in boyfriend of Letterman's assistant, with whom Dave had some very intense conference calls. Halderman's guilty plea earns him a six-month jail term and 41/2 years of probation. See how fast this goes away when you come clean?

Seacrest stalker pleads out

The stalker who harassed Ryan Seacrest has pleaded no contest to a felony charge, TMZ reports. Chidi Uzomah Jr. entered the plea Tuesday and was sent to prison for a 90-day psych evaluation, the L.A. Times adds. The 25-year-old is due back for sentencing on June 14. He had been arrested on Oct. 30 outside E!'s headquarters; he was carrying a pocketknife. Uzomah had previously been convicted of assaulting a security guard who was working for Seacrest. Although two misdemeanor counts of disobeying a court order were dropped, he faces up to two years in prison.

THE JUICE

LiLo sues E-trade for $100 million

Mostly out-of-work actress and serial rehabber Lindsay Lohan is suing E-Trade, insisting that its latest commercial featuring a "milkaholic" baby also named Lindsay is based on her. We hadn't thought of that, but now that she mentions it, yeah, we could see that. Thanks, LiLo!

Lohan filed a suit in Nassau County (N.Y.) Supreme Court on Monday claiming the financial services company owes her $50 million in punitive damages and another $50 million in compensatory damages, the New York Post reports (watch a video of the commercial at blogs.tampabay.com/juice). Since when is Lindsay worth $50 million?

"Many celebrities are known by one name only, and E-Trade is using that knowledge to profit," LiLo's lawyer Stephanie Ovadia said. "They used the name Lindsay. They're using her name as a parody of her life. Why didn't they use the name Susan? This is a subliminal message. Everybody's talking about it and saying it's Lindsay Lohan."

In its defense, ad firm Grey Group said it's all a coincidence, since they used "a popular baby name that happened to be the name of someone on the account team." Lohan is seeking an injunction to stop the commercial, plus make the company turn over all copies of it. All this because of a hiccupping baby with a fairly common name on a Super Bowl ad?

Sheen ditches rehab for show

While Charlie Sheen may have gone off to rehab, he apparently has bills to pay. RadarOnline says he will be getting out of his treatment facility to resume taping of Two and a Half Men. Dr. Drew Pinsky always says that's not a good idea. The actor checked in on Feb. 24, presumably for alcohol and cocaine, not long after wife Brooke Mueller checked into a different place for alcohol and crack. She left two facilities and is now getting treatment at home, the site says. Shooting on the show resumes March 19, a mere four days after Charlie has a court date in Aspen for the domestic violence charge stemming from his Christmas Day row with Brooke (he has to return to his facility after the shooting day has ended, though). So much for spring break.

Brooke bails after Botox

After trying Botox, Brooke Shields says she's leery about any more plastic surgery. It's a little late for that, don't you think? Well, at least she's trying. "I want laser treatment because I'm not a fan of my wrinkles," she says in new issue of Ladies' Home Journal. "But I have to find someone with a light touch. I'm scared I'll end up looking like the Joker." Ummm, which Joker? Jack Nicholson or Heath Ledger? Or Cesar Romero? (A-ha! A little old-school Batman!) Frankly, she already looks like she's joined the Heidi Montag school of death masking.

Who will play Capt. America?

Now that the second full-scale trailer for Iron-Man 2 is out, we can start geeking out about superhero movies again. Unfortunately, it's a bad trip, since Dane Cook and Kevin and Joe Jonas have reportedly auditioned for Captain America. Hollywood knows better than that, right? "Im minus 7% body fat now, bones replaced w/lightweight scandium alloy! Had 2 get shredded 4 Captain America audition & standup tour," Cook said via hi Twitter account, @DaneCook. He also tells @Marvel_Freshman: "r u really auditioning 4 Captain America? Dc: I did already. They might b goin young. I say go RDJr route-gimme the part!" Yes, give him the part, if you want no one to like the flick. Nobody takes Dane seriously, but more trouble is Hollywire's assertion that Kevin and Joe auditioned, as well. Don't get too upset by that one, though; SlashFilm says there's a sequence in the movie involving a USO show, so the boys may just be a part of that. tampabay